A friend of mine was getting coffee. As he was standing in line at the McDonalds,
a girl walked in. She greeted him by
name. Feeling somewhat awkward he
responded to the greeting with a normal response. He didn't know her name, and he said he felt
awkward. She was quote "just the
girl who cuts my hair." But what is
in a name? It is just a label our
parents give us at birth right?
There is power in a
name. It is associated with identity. Despite the fact that there are probably others
with your very name, it is still yours.
When someone knows your name that implies that they know you. They might know your story, they might know
others who you know, they might be reading a name tag; regardless we find
significance in being addressed by our names.
In fantasy literature, true names often take the form of a
"real" identity. Knowing someone’s
real identity gave you power over them, a power that you can choose to use for
good or evil. In the Torah the Jewish authors
wrote the name of God, YHWH (Yahweh).
They would never utter this name.
For this name was the very name of God.
In this name there was power, authority, and fear. The Jews believed that uttering this name
would lend them great power, but also recognized the danger of such an action. Although
our names don't carry quite this much weight, I pose this question. What would happen if we treated names with
authority? What if, instead of simply acknowledging
a stamp on a birth certificate, we connected a face and a narrative to every
name we learn? Every face and name has a
unique and intricate story behind it.
When we treat them as just labels and faces we fail to understand the
reality of the situation. We embrace a
simulation in which they are actors in our story. Instead of rejecting this fantasy, we use it
to build up a world in which we are the center.
If we accept that names have power, we also have to accept that we don’t.
Have you ever heard
someone say "I am horrible with names"? I understand that many situations are
difficult to remember names. You only
hear the name once, or you hear a bunch of names in a row, or someone’s name is
just not that easy to remember. I am one
of these people who just can't remember names, when I don't have the opportunity
to really interface with someone. But in
the bigger scheme of things, are we inadvertently nescient to other’s
names? I have found, when I make a meditated
decision to remember a title, I generally do a somewhat sterling job. The trick to remembering names is to forget
it is the label. Don't focus on
remembering the signifier, remember what it represents. Invest in someone’s story, listen to who they
are. Once you know who someone is,
remembering their name is much easier.
The name is now a narrative. The
name now carries weight and represents something that matters. The name has authority. When you know their story, and they know
yours, much like knowing true titles in fantasy literature, you have a degree
of power over the other party. It is not
power of life and death, nor is it a power of control. Rather a mutual authority and call. You have joined their story, no matter how
briefly. You have a role to play in
their story.
You know what is great
about role playing games? You get to
decide what happens, and mold the story around your own intentions. It is cool to make choices, and see their
results. Because you do it in a fantasy
realm, you can be whoever you want to be, consequences be damned. That isn't the case when you are part of someone’s
story in real life. With knowledge and
interaction, comes the power of influence.
That power of influence is salient to sharing what you believe and who
you are. Invest in the greater narrative. Reject the idea that you are telling your
story, and become a part of the narrative around you. Ironically, when you do this, your own story
will get better. Because when you create
really good relationships, they also join your tale. And everyone knows the best stories have the
best characters! So remember the eponyms
that assail you every day. Yes, they are
technically just a label. But so is
everything you are reading here. It
still has meaning because we all agree it has meaning. Let us agree to restore power to our
designations. Names link a word with something that matters. They have power by association, and authority
through trust. Remember to learn
names. Commit them to memory, write them
on your hand, emblazon them on parchment, and perhaps "just the person who
cuts my hair" will become woven into the fabric of your narrative.
